I know you said people can barely remember the place where you're from even existed, but... Is there anything you do remember about it? I mean... there must be something about it that's stuck with you, if you grew up there. Even if you can't remember.
[Did they grow up there? Maybe that's assuming too much.]
Shinjuku may be gone, but it'll always be where I'm from. And there'll always be ways it sticks with me. For better or for worse...
I know it was an island. But I don't know if I really remember, or if I just remember people telling me it was an island that disappeared. [Sometimes they're sure it was one way, and they can almost see the shapes the lights cut in the darkness, and other times...]
And that the Universe... the stars were important. But I don't even remember what they were called.
[They must have all had names, right? Like Siffrin must also have had a name, before Siffrin?]
[...]
[They guess, in a way, it's the absence that sticks with them. (Definitely for the worst.) But that sure is a downer thing to say, huh!]
That's still something, right? I mean, you do bring up the Universe a lot... And you're always here for stargazing whenever I decide to show up.
[Maybe that doesn't mean much when she doesn't show up for every meeting... But she's noticed regardless. There must be a connection of some kind there, right?
Unless that connection was only formed by Siffrin hearing from someone else that the Universe and the stars should be important to them. She seems to furrow her brow, squinting her eyes up at the sky.]
What do you mean by... "what they were called"? Like constellations and stuff?
[Suddenly, she remembers now: someone called them a "star person" once, didn't they? She meant to ask what that meant then, but she never did.]
...those, too. ["Too" in that they don't remember any in general. But "too" in that they must have names, also.]
But since the stars are important.. I mean, the sun isn't just called a star. [It has a name! It's the sun! But that one doesn't count, because everyone still remembers the sun.] So the rest should have names.
... Yeah, that bites. [...] I don't know any of their names either, for what it's worth...
[It's a gentle, lame half-joke: she knows some star and constellation names from her own world, but of course she wouldn't know those from Siffrin's country—or those from this world, come to think of it. She knows it isn't worth much at all.]
Easier question. [(Or so she hopes?)] Do you like stargazing?
[What a silly question. They wouldn't be doing it all the time if they didn't, right?]
[...right?]
[They try to actually think about it, for a minute. It's not just habit, is it? Something they can't let go of?]
[...]
It's... complicated, but... yeah.
[They're angry, sometimes, and other times they think that the stars must be stuck in the Universe's script just as much as they are, and they feel... sympathy? Pity? There are even times that they can still muster some... well, faith isn't in question, after all the wishes, but positive faith. Mostly they try not to think about faith too hard at all. And even if their memory for it is a mess, they can tell that the stars here aren't the same as the ones from their own planet.]
[But no matter what... they look up again. It's a hell of a view, isn't it?]
Then it's still important—even if it's complicated. Just 'cause you can't remember all their names doesn't mean the connection isn't still there. It's part of you, or whatever.
[Her eyes wander back up. It is a hell of a view.]
What happened was obviously messed up. And I know it's not the same. And I also know you didn't ask for advice or anything... [Does this count as advice?] But if you learn the names of these stars, then... I don't know. Maybe it'll feel like it.
[Closer to their roots, maybe, even with them torn away.]
We could learn 'em together, if you want. To be honest, I'm still not used to even seeing this many...
[That prompts Shoka to make a mental note to herself: start actually paying attention at the club meetups and pick up some Pokémon star names.]
You could in other parts of my world—like out in the countryside—but not in the city, usually. Too much light pollution. [How did she explain this to Laios before...?] Uh—basically, there's a lot of artificial light, and that makes the sky too bright to see the stars. And the city's where I spent pretty much all my time, so...
[This is... hard to imagine! Not that cities make it harder to see stars:] Oh. I'm used to... your eyes adapt to the brighter parts of a city, while you're there...
[But they can't imagine not being able to just duck around to a dark alley and then, as long as you wait a few minutes and the weather's good...]
But your city lights up the whole sky? [Light "pollution"??]
[Did they ever see Shoka's city at night, in her memories? They don't think so... they don't remember it.]
Yeah. I mean, your eyes do adapt. It's not like they'll get scorched just by walking around the city at night or anything... If that were the case, then I'd be totally blind by now.
[The memories Siffrin saw from her all happened to take place during the day, but she did spend plenty of time wandering both Shinjuku and Shibuya at night. She didn't require sleep as a Reaper, after all, and the Game's missions generally concluded before the sun set.]
And the sky's still dark at night. It's just... too much light to see stars. Except maybe a few of the brightest ones, if you're lucky.
[Shoka snorts, not really offended at all—then quiets, thinking, once she sees the look on their face.]
Eh... Yeah, maybe a little. I loved being in Shibuya, obvi. It's home. So I guess I just never thought about the things it was missing much... [She tips her disguise-head back again.] But getting to see the stars here... I dunno. It's one hell of a view.
[She's getting used to always seeing it, slowly but surely. As much as she misses Shibuya, if she were to lose this view...
She abruptly changes the subject.]
... I just remembered something. You said someone called you a star person once, didn't you? They didn't just mean you're into astronomy, did they?
[When did they say that... they absolutely do not remember!! They can't think of a situation where they'd want to bring it up, but maybe if they were upset and it slipped out...??]
[It's not a big deal, they tell themself. Especially since being a Shinx doesn't bother them anymore, so...! This shouldn't either. Really.]
No, it... when I was being Loop, the Universe made me look different...? So I had a star for my head, or around my head, and another one in my chest...
[...]
I wasn't really looking in mirrors, so you'd have to ask stardust for a description! [You know. He of stuck-in-a-coma-in-the-clinic fame.] Or Odile, I guess.
[Though if Shoka's visited Siffrin's hut in the Canopy anytime recently, she might have seen something that suddenly has more context to it: a little partially-finished wooden carving of a star-headed person, tucked carefully into the mound of leaves that used to be stardust's bed. (Next to a similarly incomplete Shinx carving.) Something he was working on, before he stopped waking up...?]
Not gonna lie, Shinx is pretty cute... So cute it kinda pisses me off.
[She can't help being a little jealous of those who received naturally bird and cat-shaped forms. Then there's the comically huge ears, the big eyes, the little tassel on their tail... which, come to think of it, is very star-shaped, isn't it?
She decides to keep that last observation to herself.]
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loopsiedaisy) wrote2031-04-01 01:31 pm
no subject
[Did they grow up there? Maybe that's assuming too much.]
Shinjuku may be gone, but it'll always be where I'm from. And there'll always be ways it sticks with me. For better or for worse...
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...not really. [No.]
I know it was an island. But I don't know if I really remember, or if I just remember people telling me it was an island that disappeared. [Sometimes they're sure it was one way, and they can almost see the shapes the lights cut in the darkness, and other times...]
And that the Universe... the stars were important. But I don't even remember what they were called.
[They must have all had names, right? Like Siffrin must also have had a name, before Siffrin?]
[...]
[They guess, in a way, it's the absence that sticks with them. (Definitely for the worst.) But that sure is a downer thing to say, huh!]
no subject
[Maybe that doesn't mean much when she doesn't show up for every meeting... But she's noticed regardless. There must be a connection of some kind there, right?
Unless that connection was only formed by Siffrin hearing from someone else that the Universe and the stars should be important to them. She seems to furrow her brow, squinting her eyes up at the sky.]
What do you mean by... "what they were called"? Like constellations and stuff?
[Suddenly, she remembers now: someone called them a "star person" once, didn't they? She meant to ask what that meant then, but she never did.]
no subject
But since the stars are important.. I mean, the sun isn't just called a star. [It has a name! It's the sun! But that one doesn't count, because everyone still remembers the sun.] So the rest should have names.
I don't... remember any names.
no subject
[It's a gentle, lame half-joke: she knows some star and constellation names from her own world, but of course she wouldn't know those from Siffrin's country—or those from this world, come to think of it. She knows it isn't worth much at all.]
Easier question. [(Or so she hopes?)] Do you like stargazing?
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[...right?]
[They try to actually think about it, for a minute. It's not just habit, is it? Something they can't let go of?]
[...]
It's... complicated, but... yeah.
[They're angry, sometimes, and other times they think that the stars must be stuck in the Universe's script just as much as they are, and they feel... sympathy? Pity? There are even times that they can still muster some... well, faith isn't in question, after all the wishes, but positive faith. Mostly they try not to think about faith too hard at all. And even if their memory for it is a mess, they can tell that the stars here aren't the same as the ones from their own planet.]
[But no matter what... they look up again. It's a hell of a view, isn't it?]
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[Her eyes wander back up. It is a hell of a view.]
What happened was obviously messed up. And I know it's not the same. And I also know you didn't ask for advice or anything... [Does this count as advice?] But if you learn the names of these stars, then... I don't know. Maybe it'll feel like it.
[Closer to their roots, maybe, even with them torn away.]
We could learn 'em together, if you want. To be honest, I'm still not used to even seeing this many...
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[But maybe it's worth a try? They nod, ducking a little behind the brim of their hat.]
[...huh.]
...could you not see many stars, from your world? [Was it somewhere on a weird edge of the Universe, maybe...?]
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You could in other parts of my world—like out in the countryside—but not in the city, usually. Too much light pollution. [How did she explain this to Laios before...?] Uh—basically, there's a lot of artificial light, and that makes the sky too bright to see the stars. And the city's where I spent pretty much all my time, so...
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[But they can't imagine not being able to just duck around to a dark alley and then, as long as you wait a few minutes and the weather's good...]
But your city lights up the whole sky? [Light "pollution"??]
[Did they ever see Shoka's city at night, in her memories? They don't think so... they don't remember it.]
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[The memories Siffrin saw from her all happened to take place during the day, but she did spend plenty of time wandering both Shinjuku and Shibuya at night. She didn't require sleep as a Reaper, after all, and the Game's missions generally concluded before the sun set.]
And the sky's still dark at night. It's just... too much light to see stars. Except maybe a few of the brightest ones, if you're lucky.
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That's... kind of sad?
[...]
I guess people in my world didn't usually pay attention even when they could see them, though...
[So really, do they have any room to talk.]
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[Shoka snorts, not really offended at all—then quiets, thinking, once she sees the look on their face.]
Eh... Yeah, maybe a little. I loved being in Shibuya, obvi. It's home. So I guess I just never thought about the things it was missing much... [She tips her disguise-head back again.] But getting to see the stars here... I dunno. It's one hell of a view.
[She's getting used to always seeing it, slowly but surely. As much as she misses Shibuya, if she were to lose this view...
She abruptly changes the subject.]
... I just remembered something. You said someone called you a star person once, didn't you? They didn't just mean you're into astronomy, did they?
no subject
[When did they say that... they absolutely do not remember!! They can't think of a situation where they'd want to bring it up, but maybe if they were upset and it slipped out...??]
[It's not a big deal, they tell themself. Especially since being a Shinx doesn't bother them anymore, so...! This shouldn't either. Really.]
No, it... when I was being Loop, the Universe made me look different...? So I had a star for my head, or around my head, and another one in my chest...
[...]
I wasn't really looking in mirrors, so you'd have to ask stardust for a description! [You know. He of stuck-in-a-coma-in-the-clinic fame.] Or Odile, I guess.
[Though if Shoka's visited Siffrin's hut in the Canopy anytime recently, she might have seen something that suddenly has more context to it: a little partially-finished wooden carving of a star-headed person, tucked carefully into the mound of leaves that used to be stardust's bed. (Next to a similarly incomplete Shinx carving.) Something he was working on, before he stopped waking up...?]
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[She doesn't know what she was expecting.]
So you were... literally a star person. [...] I thought that lil' wooden figure you've got was, like, symbolic or something?
[Or just a character from one of their plays! But she never did ask about it, sensing from the figure's placement that it might be a sensitive topic.]
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[Their voice is back to being all nonchalant about it.]
Don't ask me how any of that worked when stars are really huge balls of fire. It just did!
[Something something Wish Craft! It didn't really stay burning hot when it stuck around in their chest, either...]
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[She laughs a little, because it's ridiculous, but it sounds a bit hollow—uncertain if she should be laughing about it at all.]
Anyway, sounds like a look.
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[They have to make it funny, because otherwise what is there?]
[They wave their paw.] I'd rather be a Shinx, though. Much cuter!
[The only disadvantage remains: grand total of zero thumbs.......]
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[She can't help being a little jealous of those who received naturally bird and cat-shaped forms. Then there's the comically huge ears, the big eyes, the little tassel on their tail... which, come to think of it, is very star-shaped, isn't it?
She decides to keep that last observation to herself.]
... I used to have wings.