[...yeah, disappeared isn't exactly right, is it? It's right there in front of them, even with Shoka rotating it away. Like... things from the island that were in other countries...]
[So really it's, um.] ...forgotten?
[...]
You can't remember it when you're not looking at it.
[Or maybe that's still just them and that's not what she meant by freaky and they're about to get a very odd stare.]
[Shoka does glance their way, but only briefly and with no discernible judgment in her eyes. She seems to consider it for a moment then. It may not be exactly how she would have described it herself (she would have probably just chalked it up to the mug being totally cursed), but...]
Yeah, pretty much. If you can even look at it at all...
[Even she can barely look at it, and it's her own footprint. How can you remember something your brain refuses to process?
There was a country that... something happened to it, and people can barely remember it even existed.
[...they pause for an unusually long time. This clearly isn't the end of their thought, but it seems like they're hesitating over something? (Feels bad to just say "a country," as if it's nothing but a curiosity. But can they make themself say it?)]
...it's where stardust and I are from.
[Apparently they can, even though it's much quieter. Makes their heart beat faster, and their chest clench, but... still feels a little less bad. Doesn't make them move on any less quickly, though!]
Um, there are still books, so people know it used to be there. But even if they have its name, you can't read it, or say it, or remember it. You just get a headache if you keep trying. [And it kills you if you try hard enough, but maybe they're just! Not going to mention that!]
Your footprint...? [?????] - feels like that, so I thought that maybe...
[Are Mimikyu, like, secretly also from the forgotten country? Is there a whole different Pokemon forgotten country where Mimikyu are from??]
[Shoka's eyes are back on them now, reflecting quiet shock, then an unnerved sort of sympathy, like she understands—deeper than she expected to.]
... That maybe I'm from there, too?
[Or at least her species, if not her. She draws her mug closer to herself, staring into its (much easier to look at) contents.]
That's... [Unlikely, she wants to say... But what would she know about it, really?] I dunno. Maybe. There's—not much info out there about Mimikyu. Not that I've tried that hard to look for it, I guess...
[Despite her love of battle and her affinity for monster collecting games, she never had any strong desire to research her own species. For whatever reason, her brain just... glanced off the idea. As much as she tried to blame it all on simple doubt in any existing research's validity, it was more likely just her instinctual defensiveness that stopped her—discomfort at the thought of anyone studying her. Maybe a bit of fear, too, of discovering something about herself that she didn't want to know.
Now, she wonders if being forgotten also has something to do with it.]
How does that even happen? A whole country, just gone...?
[She asks for a reason, despite the fact that she already knows exactly how it could happen. She's seen cities threatened with total erasure, after all, and the open wounds left behind by wards that couldn't be saved from it. She's from one herself, one of a meager few survivors who can still remember it ever existed. Why not a whole country?]
[Siffrin shrugs - a motion that gets more exaggerated and theatrical halfway through as the implications start sinking in, and they reflexively try to show how much it's not bothering them. No, Mimikyu couldn't be from their country, on second thought. Obviously not. Wouldn't make any sense.]
[But maybe they had something similar happen to them, as a species...? This world must still be part of the Universe, after all...]
[Could it happen to all the Pokemon here? Bottlecap Bay? There's all that stuff they've been avoiding thinking about, like the copy of the Archives that's been found. 'Something important is missing.' It takes some effort not to shudder.]
I couldn't tell you, kittycat.
[But that's the problem, isn't it? What the King (ugh) was fixated on? If you don't know what could make something disappear, how do you stop it from happening again?]
A wish, maybe? Some other kind of Craft? The Universe? [Well, it'd be the Universe in the end one way or another...]
[Shoka doesn't quite manage to suppress a frustrated groan.] Not that crap again...
[She's already had enough of wishes and the Universe messing with her friend. And she can't even do anything about it!
There's a brief silence as she thinks everything that's been said over once more. She's still relearning how to read Siffrin, but their discomfort when talking about their country was obvious, like it still hurt even them just to think about. While their description was eerily familiar, she can't relate to that exact feeling herself... But it's understandable. If they had a connection to that place once—or just wanted to have one—of course it would be painful. Not to mention lonely.
Maybe that's presuming too much. But at least she can try to relate.]
... Y'know, even if I'm not from that country, I... sort of get it. 'Cause something like that happened to the place I'm from, too. Back in my world...
[Her gaze returns to her mug again.]
It wasn't exactly the same. It was just a city, for one thing. And I was there, so I can still remember it... But there's nothing left where it used to be. Just empty space. And no one else thinks that's weird, 'cause they don't remember that there was ever anything there in the first place. Every mention of it's been scrubbed from the history books and most people's memories. Like it never existed.
[The way she explains it is bland, almost detached. She never did have a strong connection to Shinjuku, after all. In some ways, she's even glad that it's gone. Nonetheless, there is a flicker of something pained in her eyes. It looks like guilt.]
Where I'm from, we call that Inversion... Or just erasure.
[It fits right in, doesn't it? Disappeared; forgotten; erased.]
[Siffrin snorts. Yeah, they feel that too. But the Universe is all encompassing, no matter what, so there's nothing to do but follow.]
[Their ear rotates in her direction as she keeps going, though, and they go progressively more still. It sounds...]
[The same.]
[...not the same. Their country - it was never erased from history books. Sometimes, people could still remember it existed once. Or at least that something had existed. But - but even still -]
[Erasure... if they had been on the island, when it was forgotten, would they still remember it? Would they just have disappeared too? ...would it be worth it?]
But you remember what happened to it...? What made it get erased?
[What if it is the same? What if they finally get an answer? (Should they even be asking this, or are they just being selfish, selfish, selfish?)]
... An Angel. [She remembers a name—Kubo—but only because Rindo told her. She can't seem to shake the feeling that there should be more there, like there's something she's forgotten herself... but that's all that's left in her memory. It's more than enough, she's decided.] Some asshole from the Higher Plane. That's the top brass were I'm from—the ones who watch over everything and make all the rules.
[A little like Siffrin's Universe, she thinks... if the Universe had faces and a hierarchy of its own.]
He wanted the city gone. And he used my old boss... and the rest of us Reapers... to make that happen.
[In part, she is what made it get erased. For a moment, she wonders if she should have left that part out, despite how much Siffrin clearly wants an answer—but it's too late now.]
We didn't know that's what we were doing. We were just following orders...
[Wasn't that Noelle's nickname...? As far as Siffrin's concerned, the word previously translated in their head to something like "an almost sickeningly good person"...]
[But in this context, it feels different. Like a god, then, maybe...? If this were a less fraught conversation, maybe they'd be wondering if that made Reapers something like Handmaidens, or any other number of religious figures from different cultures they've encountered, with different gods.]
[Right this moment, though, it's waking up an irrational fear they've started having since they remembered being Loop and all they know about Wish Craft: what if they had something to do with their own country's vanishing? Even they know it's unreasonable. They were a child, what could they have done? But sometimes, a voice in their head starts insisting - it would be just the Universe's sense of humor, wouldn't it...? They'll never remember, so how could they know?]
[...they shake their head.]
S-sorry. I probably shouldn't have asked.
[Shoka does know for sure she had some part in it, even unwittingly. That must be...]
[While talking about it isn't fun, it's not as painful a topic for her as it seems to be for Siffrin. At least she can say Shinjuku's name without any physical hurt.]
... When I died, I got sent to Shinjuku's UG—the city's Underground. That's the plane for the unalive like me—Reapers, along with anyone playing the Reapers' Game. And we called the world of the living the Realground. Inversion happens when the barrier between the two breaks down. So the two basically cancel each other out, and... that's it. No more Shinjuku.
[Now, however, the guilt gains a few new teeth to gnaw at her with. It's far from the first time she's thought to compare her Mimikyu form to erasure. Her true shape is composed from countless particles of black dust, so much like the ashes Shinjuku (and Ayano, and Susukichi) was reduced to, and sometimes it turns to static, like muted Noise. Her body is impossible to look at directly, as wrong as the huge, yawning gap right in the middle of Tokyo. It's only fitting, she supposes, when she erased so many and should have been erased herself. So much about her is connected to the act.
But even if she were to search her memory, she wouldn't be able to identify which of the tasks Shiba gave her were normal assignments and which were to destabilize the barrier between the planes. She doesn't even know what to say to someone who went through something similar. Can she say anything to them, when she has the nerve to feel happy in any way about what she did?]
I don't know if that's how it works where you're from. And I... [I wish, she almost says, before managing to stop herself.] Well, it'd be nice if I could tell you there was some big, important reason it might've happened... But I wouldn't be surprised if it was for just as dumb a reason as it was for Shinjuku. Someone also following orders, or some higher-up deciding the whole country was a lost cause without even giving it a real fighting chance...
[Siffrin can't help but wrack their mind in case any of this sounds like... like anything they've ever heard of. Even though they know it won't make them any happier.]
[It doesn't, though. They're pretty sure that Shoka has talked about the Reaper's Game before - yeah. Yeah, she has. Even if they didn't retain much, it sounds familiar. But that's the only point of connection they have. Worlds of the dead crop up in multiple cultures they've interacted with, traveling, but even though they don't remember many details... they've heard a lot of stories about worlds of the dead and living overlapping, at certain times of year, and they don't remember those ever ending in disaster. Or nothing more than very personal disaster, in the case of tragic revenge plays.]
It doesn't sound like anything I've heard of before...
[Though how much does that mean, really? With their memory? Stars, maybe there's something about it in the religion of the Universe and they just can't recall it anymore. (It doesn't feel right for the Universe, but! Who knows!)]
[...]
But I guess... it really doesn't matter, does it? It's gone either way. [They'll never know for sure.]
[They let out a breath, one they didn't realize they were holding. They don't even know if it matters if there was a big, important reason or not... would that make it any better either? Would it feel more fair? Or would they just be even more resentful, that there was a 'good reason' and their country, the people in it, their history, their language, their everything was what had to be the price?]
Maybe someone just made a stupid wish, like I did.
[...it's not everything anymore, anyway. The stars are still overhead, and they have the Cheri Berries, and there are people here who care about Siffrin - even a spare Siffrin, as surprising as it is. (They've almost been convinced that the rest of their old party would care about a spare Siffrin too.) They've got Shoka right here with them, don't they?]
[They shake out their fur, as if shaking out their thoughts with it, and straighten up a little.]
[Shoka says nothing at first, watching Siffrin quietly with a concern that she hopes is subtle enough as to go unnoticed. Eventually, she lets out a breath of laughter.]
Frinrin, it's fine, okay? Honestly, it makes most Pokémon get all weird... That's sort of why I like it. [Because she's a jerk who likes to mess with people and keep them on edge, of course.] Even if I can barely look at it either, hah.
[And even if it's caused this conversation. She points a claw at their bowl.]
Your cocoa's gonna get cold, by the way.
[Like a gesture of mercy, she pulls her accursed mug under her disguise rag. Though it's invisible to Siffrin, the ripples of movement beneath the cloth suggest that she's taking a swig of her own cocoa.
Silence, then, save for the distant chatter of other club members and the occasional trilling of insect Pokémon—until curiosity gets the better of her.]
... Can I ask you something? About your country. [A beat.] You don't have to answer.
[Siffrin huffs a soft laugh at her explanation - of course Shoka likes having a weird spooky mug that people can't look at properly - and then follows her lead, ducking their head to drink their cocoa. With much less hidden and presumably less accursed mlems. Presumably. They settle back down into a companionable silence, watching the stars very slowly spin by overhead.]
[Their ear twitches when Shoka speaks again.]
Well, if you're giving me permission... [Siffrin teases.]
[...]
I probably won't remember, but you can ask! [Breezily. It's clearly taking them an effort to act this nonchalant, but they seem to mean it anyway?]
I know you said people can barely remember the place where you're from even existed, but... Is there anything you do remember about it? I mean... there must be something about it that's stuck with you, if you grew up there. Even if you can't remember.
[Did they grow up there? Maybe that's assuming too much.]
Shinjuku may be gone, but it'll always be where I'm from. And there'll always be ways it sticks with me. For better or for worse...
I know it was an island. But I don't know if I really remember, or if I just remember people telling me it was an island that disappeared. [Sometimes they're sure it was one way, and they can almost see the shapes the lights cut in the darkness, and other times...]
And that the Universe... the stars were important. But I don't even remember what they were called.
[They must have all had names, right? Like Siffrin must also have had a name, before Siffrin?]
[...]
[They guess, in a way, it's the absence that sticks with them. (Definitely for the worst.) But that sure is a downer thing to say, huh!]
That's still something, right? I mean, you do bring up the Universe a lot... And you're always here for stargazing whenever I decide to show up.
[Maybe that doesn't mean much when she doesn't show up for every meeting... But she's noticed regardless. There must be a connection of some kind there, right?
Unless that connection was only formed by Siffrin hearing from someone else that the Universe and the stars should be important to them. She seems to furrow her brow, squinting her eyes up at the sky.]
What do you mean by... "what they were called"? Like constellations and stuff?
[Suddenly, she remembers now: someone called them a "star person" once, didn't they? She meant to ask what that meant then, but she never did.]
...those, too. ["Too" in that they don't remember any in general. But "too" in that they must have names, also.]
But since the stars are important.. I mean, the sun isn't just called a star. [It has a name! It's the sun! But that one doesn't count, because everyone still remembers the sun.] So the rest should have names.
... Yeah, that bites. [...] I don't know any of their names either, for what it's worth...
[It's a gentle, lame half-joke: she knows some star and constellation names from her own world, but of course she wouldn't know those from Siffrin's country—or those from this world, come to think of it. She knows it isn't worth much at all.]
Easier question. [(Or so she hopes?)] Do you like stargazing?
[What a silly question. They wouldn't be doing it all the time if they didn't, right?]
[...right?]
[They try to actually think about it, for a minute. It's not just habit, is it? Something they can't let go of?]
[...]
It's... complicated, but... yeah.
[They're angry, sometimes, and other times they think that the stars must be stuck in the Universe's script just as much as they are, and they feel... sympathy? Pity? There are even times that they can still muster some... well, faith isn't in question, after all the wishes, but positive faith. Mostly they try not to think about faith too hard at all. And even if their memory for it is a mess, they can tell that the stars here aren't the same as the ones from their own planet.]
[But no matter what... they look up again. It's a hell of a view, isn't it?]
Then it's still important—even if it's complicated. Just 'cause you can't remember all their names doesn't mean the connection isn't still there. It's part of you, or whatever.
[Her eyes wander back up. It is a hell of a view.]
What happened was obviously messed up. And I know it's not the same. And I also know you didn't ask for advice or anything... [Does this count as advice?] But if you learn the names of these stars, then... I don't know. Maybe it'll feel like it.
[Closer to their roots, maybe, even with them torn away.]
We could learn 'em together, if you want. To be honest, I'm still not used to even seeing this many...
[That prompts Shoka to make a mental note to herself: start actually paying attention at the club meetups and pick up some Pokémon star names.]
You could in other parts of my world—like out in the countryside—but not in the city, usually. Too much light pollution. [How did she explain this to Laios before...?] Uh—basically, there's a lot of artificial light, and that makes the sky too bright to see the stars. And the city's where I spent pretty much all my time, so...
[This is... hard to imagine! Not that cities make it harder to see stars:] Oh. I'm used to... your eyes adapt to the brighter parts of a city, while you're there...
[But they can't imagine not being able to just duck around to a dark alley and then, as long as you wait a few minutes and the weather's good...]
But your city lights up the whole sky? [Light "pollution"??]
[Did they ever see Shoka's city at night, in her memories? They don't think so... they don't remember it.]
Yeah. I mean, your eyes do adapt. It's not like they'll get scorched just by walking around the city at night or anything... If that were the case, then I'd be totally blind by now.
[The memories Siffrin saw from her all happened to take place during the day, but she did spend plenty of time wandering both Shinjuku and Shibuya at night. She didn't require sleep as a Reaper, after all, and the Game's missions generally concluded before the sun set.]
And the sky's still dark at night. It's just... too much light to see stars. Except maybe a few of the brightest ones, if you're lucky.
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loopsiedaisy) wrote2031-04-01 01:31 pm
no subject
[So really it's, um.] ...forgotten?
[...]
You can't remember it when you're not looking at it.
[Or maybe that's still just them and that's not what she meant by freaky and they're about to get a very odd stare.]
no subject
Yeah, pretty much. If you can even look at it at all...
[Even she can barely look at it, and it's her own footprint. How can you remember something your brain refuses to process?
In any case, her second question:]
So why was a name your first guess?
no subject
There was a country that... something happened to it, and people can barely remember it even existed.
[...they pause for an unusually long time. This clearly isn't the end of their thought, but it seems like they're hesitating over something? (Feels bad to just say "a country," as if it's nothing but a curiosity. But can they make themself say it?)]
...it's where stardust and I are from.
[Apparently they can, even though it's much quieter. Makes their heart beat faster, and their chest clench, but... still feels a little less bad. Doesn't make them move on any less quickly, though!]
Um, there are still books, so people know it used to be there. But even if they have its name, you can't read it, or say it, or remember it. You just get a headache if you keep trying. [And it kills you if you try hard enough, but maybe they're just! Not going to mention that!]
Your footprint...? [?????] - feels like that, so I thought that maybe...
[Are Mimikyu, like, secretly also from the forgotten country? Is there a whole different Pokemon forgotten country where Mimikyu are from??]
no subject
... That maybe I'm from there, too?
[Or at least her species, if not her. She draws her mug closer to herself, staring into its (much easier to look at) contents.]
That's... [Unlikely, she wants to say... But what would she know about it, really?] I dunno. Maybe. There's—not much info out there about Mimikyu. Not that I've tried that hard to look for it, I guess...
[Despite her love of battle and her affinity for monster collecting games, she never had any strong desire to research her own species. For whatever reason, her brain just... glanced off the idea. As much as she tried to blame it all on simple doubt in any existing research's validity, it was more likely just her instinctual defensiveness that stopped her—discomfort at the thought of anyone studying her. Maybe a bit of fear, too, of discovering something about herself that she didn't want to know.
Now, she wonders if being forgotten also has something to do with it.]
How does that even happen? A whole country, just gone...?
[She asks for a reason, despite the fact that she already knows exactly how it could happen. She's seen cities threatened with total erasure, after all, and the open wounds left behind by wards that couldn't be saved from it. She's from one herself, one of a meager few survivors who can still remember it ever existed. Why not a whole country?]
no subject
[But maybe they had something similar happen to them, as a species...? This world must still be part of the Universe, after all...]
[Could it happen to all the Pokemon here? Bottlecap Bay? There's all that stuff they've been avoiding thinking about, like the copy of the Archives that's been found. 'Something important is missing.' It takes some effort not to shudder.]
I couldn't tell you, kittycat.
[But that's the problem, isn't it? What the King (ugh) was fixated on? If you don't know what could make something disappear, how do you stop it from happening again?]
A wish, maybe? Some other kind of Craft? The Universe? [Well, it'd be the Universe in the end one way or another...]
no subject
[She's already had enough of wishes and the Universe messing with her friend. And she can't even do anything about it!
There's a brief silence as she thinks everything that's been said over once more. She's still relearning how to read Siffrin, but their discomfort when talking about their country was obvious, like it still hurt even them just to think about. While their description was eerily familiar, she can't relate to that exact feeling herself... But it's understandable. If they had a connection to that place once—or just wanted to have one—of course it would be painful. Not to mention lonely.
Maybe that's presuming too much. But at least she can try to relate.]
... Y'know, even if I'm not from that country, I... sort of get it. 'Cause something like that happened to the place I'm from, too. Back in my world...
[Her gaze returns to her mug again.]
It wasn't exactly the same. It was just a city, for one thing. And I was there, so I can still remember it... But there's nothing left where it used to be. Just empty space. And no one else thinks that's weird, 'cause they don't remember that there was ever anything there in the first place. Every mention of it's been scrubbed from the history books and most people's memories. Like it never existed.
[The way she explains it is bland, almost detached. She never did have a strong connection to Shinjuku, after all. In some ways, she's even glad that it's gone. Nonetheless, there is a flicker of something pained in her eyes. It looks like guilt.]
Where I'm from, we call that Inversion... Or just erasure.
[It fits right in, doesn't it? Disappeared; forgotten; erased.]
no subject
[Their ear rotates in her direction as she keeps going, though, and they go progressively more still. It sounds...]
[The same.]
[...not the same. Their country - it was never erased from history books. Sometimes, people could still remember it existed once. Or at least that something had existed. But - but even still -]
[Erasure... if they had been on the island, when it was forgotten, would they still remember it? Would they just have disappeared too? ...would it be worth it?]
But you remember what happened to it...? What made it get erased?
[What if it is the same? What if they finally get an answer? (Should they even be asking this, or are they just being selfish, selfish, selfish?)]
no subject
[A little like Siffrin's Universe, she thinks... if the Universe had faces and a hierarchy of its own.]
He wanted the city gone. And he used my old boss... and the rest of us Reapers... to make that happen.
[In part, she is what made it get erased. For a moment, she wonders if she should have left that part out, despite how much Siffrin clearly wants an answer—but it's too late now.]
We didn't know that's what we were doing. We were just following orders...
no subject
[But in this context, it feels different. Like a god, then, maybe...? If this were a less fraught conversation, maybe they'd be wondering if that made Reapers something like Handmaidens, or any other number of religious figures from different cultures they've encountered, with different gods.]
[Right this moment, though, it's waking up an irrational fear they've started having since they remembered being Loop and all they know about Wish Craft: what if they had something to do with their own country's vanishing? Even they know it's unreasonable. They were a child, what could they have done? But sometimes, a voice in their head starts insisting - it would be just the Universe's sense of humor, wouldn't it...? They'll never remember, so how could they know?]
[...they shake their head.]
S-sorry. I probably shouldn't have asked.
[Shoka does know for sure she had some part in it, even unwittingly. That must be...]
no subject
[While talking about it isn't fun, it's not as painful a topic for her as it seems to be for Siffrin. At least she can say Shinjuku's name without any physical hurt.]
... When I died, I got sent to Shinjuku's UG—the city's Underground. That's the plane for the unalive like me—Reapers, along with anyone playing the Reapers' Game. And we called the world of the living the Realground. Inversion happens when the barrier between the two breaks down. So the two basically cancel each other out, and... that's it. No more Shinjuku.
[Now, however, the guilt gains a few new teeth to gnaw at her with. It's far from the first time she's thought to compare her Mimikyu form to erasure. Her true shape is composed from countless particles of black dust, so much like the ashes Shinjuku (and Ayano, and Susukichi) was reduced to, and sometimes it turns to static, like muted Noise. Her body is impossible to look at directly, as wrong as the huge, yawning gap right in the middle of Tokyo. It's only fitting, she supposes, when she erased so many and should have been erased herself. So much about her is connected to the act.
But even if she were to search her memory, she wouldn't be able to identify which of the tasks Shiba gave her were normal assignments and which were to destabilize the barrier between the planes. She doesn't even know what to say to someone who went through something similar. Can she say anything to them, when she has the nerve to feel happy in any way about what she did?]
I don't know if that's how it works where you're from. And I... [I wish, she almost says, before managing to stop herself.] Well, it'd be nice if I could tell you there was some big, important reason it might've happened... But I wouldn't be surprised if it was for just as dumb a reason as it was for Shinjuku. Someone also following orders, or some higher-up deciding the whole country was a lost cause without even giving it a real fighting chance...
[There's a pause.]
I know that doesn't make it better.
[So why did she even say it? Useless.
Her hot cocoa is getting cold.]
no subject
[It doesn't, though. They're pretty sure that Shoka has talked about the Reaper's Game before - yeah. Yeah, she has. Even if they didn't retain much, it sounds familiar. But that's the only point of connection they have. Worlds of the dead crop up in multiple cultures they've interacted with, traveling, but even though they don't remember many details... they've heard a lot of stories about worlds of the dead and living overlapping, at certain times of year, and they don't remember those ever ending in disaster. Or nothing more than very personal disaster, in the case of tragic revenge plays.]
It doesn't sound like anything I've heard of before...
[Though how much does that mean, really? With their memory? Stars, maybe there's something about it in the religion of the Universe and they just can't recall it anymore. (It doesn't feel right for the Universe, but! Who knows!)]
[...]
But I guess... it really doesn't matter, does it? It's gone either way. [They'll never know for sure.]
[They let out a breath, one they didn't realize they were holding. They don't even know if it matters if there was a big, important reason or not... would that make it any better either? Would it feel more fair? Or would they just be even more resentful, that there was a 'good reason' and their country, the people in it, their history, their language, their everything was what had to be the price?]
Maybe someone just made a stupid wish, like I did.
[...it's not everything anymore, anyway. The stars are still overhead, and they have the Cheri Berries, and there are people here who care about Siffrin - even a spare Siffrin, as surprising as it is. (They've almost been convinced that the rest of their old party would care about a spare Siffrin too.) They've got Shoka right here with them, don't they?]
[They shake out their fur, as if shaking out their thoughts with it, and straighten up a little.]
Sorry to get all weird about your mug, kittycat!
no subject
Frinrin, it's fine, okay? Honestly, it makes most Pokémon get all weird... That's sort of why I like it. [Because she's a jerk who likes to mess with people and keep them on edge, of course.] Even if I can barely look at it either, hah.
[And even if it's caused this conversation. She points a claw at their bowl.]
Your cocoa's gonna get cold, by the way.
[Like a gesture of mercy, she pulls her accursed mug under her disguise rag. Though it's invisible to Siffrin, the ripples of movement beneath the cloth suggest that she's taking a swig of her own cocoa.
Silence, then, save for the distant chatter of other club members and the occasional trilling of insect Pokémon—until curiosity gets the better of her.]
... Can I ask you something? About your country. [A beat.] You don't have to answer.
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[Siffrin huffs a soft laugh at her explanation - of course Shoka likes having a weird spooky mug that people can't look at properly - and then follows her lead, ducking their head to drink their cocoa. With much less hidden and presumably less accursed mlems. Presumably. They settle back down into a companionable silence, watching the stars very slowly spin by overhead.]
[Their ear twitches when Shoka speaks again.]
Well, if you're giving me permission... [Siffrin teases.]
[...]
I probably won't remember, but you can ask! [Breezily. It's clearly taking them an effort to act this nonchalant, but they seem to mean it anyway?]
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[Did they grow up there? Maybe that's assuming too much.]
Shinjuku may be gone, but it'll always be where I'm from. And there'll always be ways it sticks with me. For better or for worse...
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...not really. [No.]
I know it was an island. But I don't know if I really remember, or if I just remember people telling me it was an island that disappeared. [Sometimes they're sure it was one way, and they can almost see the shapes the lights cut in the darkness, and other times...]
And that the Universe... the stars were important. But I don't even remember what they were called.
[They must have all had names, right? Like Siffrin must also have had a name, before Siffrin?]
[...]
[They guess, in a way, it's the absence that sticks with them. (Definitely for the worst.) But that sure is a downer thing to say, huh!]
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[Maybe that doesn't mean much when she doesn't show up for every meeting... But she's noticed regardless. There must be a connection of some kind there, right?
Unless that connection was only formed by Siffrin hearing from someone else that the Universe and the stars should be important to them. She seems to furrow her brow, squinting her eyes up at the sky.]
What do you mean by... "what they were called"? Like constellations and stuff?
[Suddenly, she remembers now: someone called them a "star person" once, didn't they? She meant to ask what that meant then, but she never did.]
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But since the stars are important.. I mean, the sun isn't just called a star. [It has a name! It's the sun! But that one doesn't count, because everyone still remembers the sun.] So the rest should have names.
I don't... remember any names.
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[It's a gentle, lame half-joke: she knows some star and constellation names from her own world, but of course she wouldn't know those from Siffrin's country—or those from this world, come to think of it. She knows it isn't worth much at all.]
Easier question. [(Or so she hopes?)] Do you like stargazing?
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[...right?]
[They try to actually think about it, for a minute. It's not just habit, is it? Something they can't let go of?]
[...]
It's... complicated, but... yeah.
[They're angry, sometimes, and other times they think that the stars must be stuck in the Universe's script just as much as they are, and they feel... sympathy? Pity? There are even times that they can still muster some... well, faith isn't in question, after all the wishes, but positive faith. Mostly they try not to think about faith too hard at all. And even if their memory for it is a mess, they can tell that the stars here aren't the same as the ones from their own planet.]
[But no matter what... they look up again. It's a hell of a view, isn't it?]
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[Her eyes wander back up. It is a hell of a view.]
What happened was obviously messed up. And I know it's not the same. And I also know you didn't ask for advice or anything... [Does this count as advice?] But if you learn the names of these stars, then... I don't know. Maybe it'll feel like it.
[Closer to their roots, maybe, even with them torn away.]
We could learn 'em together, if you want. To be honest, I'm still not used to even seeing this many...
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[But maybe it's worth a try? They nod, ducking a little behind the brim of their hat.]
[...huh.]
...could you not see many stars, from your world? [Was it somewhere on a weird edge of the Universe, maybe...?]
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You could in other parts of my world—like out in the countryside—but not in the city, usually. Too much light pollution. [How did she explain this to Laios before...?] Uh—basically, there's a lot of artificial light, and that makes the sky too bright to see the stars. And the city's where I spent pretty much all my time, so...
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[But they can't imagine not being able to just duck around to a dark alley and then, as long as you wait a few minutes and the weather's good...]
But your city lights up the whole sky? [Light "pollution"??]
[Did they ever see Shoka's city at night, in her memories? They don't think so... they don't remember it.]
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[The memories Siffrin saw from her all happened to take place during the day, but she did spend plenty of time wandering both Shinjuku and Shibuya at night. She didn't require sleep as a Reaper, after all, and the Game's missions generally concluded before the sun set.]
And the sky's still dark at night. It's just... too much light to see stars. Except maybe a few of the brightest ones, if you're lucky.
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That's... kind of sad?
[...]
I guess people in my world didn't usually pay attention even when they could see them, though...
[So really, do they have any room to talk.]
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